Words by Andrea Goto
Photography by Chia Chong
Portrait styled by Amy Zurcher
Event styled by Rebecca Gardner, Houses and Parties 

I want to be a sprinkle. Not the tiny circus-colored variety that crunches like birdshot, or the crystallized pink sparklers that feel as if you eaten a mouthful of sand. “A sprinkle,” Rebecca Gardner tells me, “is someone who walks into a party and they’re peppy, they introduce people, they have self confidence and stories to tell.”  It’s her job to know this.

As we chat together in her historic Savannah home, I quickly boil down Rebecca’s ambiguous named business, Rebecca Gardner Houses and Parties, to mean: Rebecca Gardner Makes Things Pretty (houses) and Fun (parties).

Since I accepted a long time ago that my house would be pretty when I had enough money to afford pretty (read: never), I zero in on the party planning aspect.

“The most important thing at a party is who’s there,” Rebecca says as if narrating to God, who waits to chisel her words into a stone tablet.

I’ve never been “there,” but I know the parties she speaks of because she posts about them on her blog.  From the looks of it, most take place in NYC, where the native Texan spends half her time running in affluent circles with people who almost exclusively wear black and have impeccably smooth foreheads.

I want to tell Rebecca Gardner that these people are probably really fun (doubt it), but she needs me.  I’m the sprinkle she’s missing from her boutique-baked cupcake.
I try to communicate this through what I imagine is my palpable charm.
I sit forward on the edge of my seat, my legs to the side, neatly crossed at the ankles.  I smile.  I laugh and toss my hair around.  I talk about the places I’ve been and the people I know she knows so can she can know I know.  I pretend to enjoy the showering of sloppy dog kisses from her French bulldog, Little Lord Button.

“I can put him out,” she offers.
It’s a nice gesture, but asking someone to put out their dog is like telling someone you think their kid is cute but annoying.
“No, I love dogs,” I insist, patting his head with one finger.  It’s a lie.  I don’t love dogs—but a sprinkle would.
Rebecca continues to share her magic recipe for the perfect party with as much energy as most kids talk about Disneyland.  Merely 30, she has a confidence far beyond her years, making it seem as if she wrote the modern manual on party planning and etiquette, which I pretend to have read.

“Unless you have a caterer, everything has to be done before when you’re entertaining in your home,” she says.
“Right.”
“And I think you always have to have a cotton or linen napkin.”

“Totally.”
“And set the damn table!  You know, how hard is that?”
“I know.” (I don’t.)

In the end, to me, Rebecca Gardner’s idea of a throwing an easy-breezy dinner party with friends sounds anything but.  Being a guest at said party, however, sounds like a gas.
I cast my line—“Sooooo, do you aim for a mix of guests or would you prefer to have a party made up entirely of sprinkles?”
She takes the bait.

“Are you kidding me?  A party with all sprinkles would be a screaming blast!”  Then she adds, “My favorite people are sprinkles, for sure.”
I pause before making my fatal error.

“I think I’m a sprinkle.”
Saying it out loud is a mistake.  I know this because Rebecca smiles sweetly at me, not denying my proclamation, but not affirming it either.  I sense the slightest bit of pity in the corner of her eyes and take this as my hint to wrap things up.  I won’t bother checking my mailbox for a hand-addressed, letter-pressed invite any time soon.

Maybe the first rule of being a sprinkle is that you don’t talk about being a sprinkle.

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Simmer Down Podcast: A Moment with Event Designer Rebecca Gardner

For a real treat, listen up as Simmer Down Podcast host Brenda Anderson, sits down for a few minutes with Rebecca. Trust us, you will love hearing this!!! Who knew paper napkins were disgusting?

See more of the piece Salted and Styled did with Rebecca Gardner inside the May/June Epicure issue of Savannah Magazine.

Need more Rebecca in your life? Visit her website, Rebecca Gardner Houses and Parties.